Changing The Guard: Caretaking Your Parents

The Equipment Arrives

imagesThursday night and suddenly Dad has a hospital bed in his room.  Tara, his nurse was here and Dad smiled when he described how she took down his old bed.  She has been talking for a while about how he needed one.  Medicare paid for a lot of it, but a couple of hundred came from him.  His insurance won’t pay.

My sudden job is to help him learn to live with it.  And to deal with my feelings.  I want Dad to make his own decisions, I get upset with people who talk to me in front of him, as if it weren’t about him.  Yet, I am bothered that this happened without my knowledge.  I am not going to say anything, just help him.

Now, Dad sleeps on his back, not really possible in a hospital bed.  However, I know that sleeping with bent knees will help his back AND he easily sleeps in a chair.  So I try to convince him to crank up the back and the legs and pretend that he is in a chair.

The first night was ok, he had a good night sleep.  But this morning he is ‘sick’.  He can’t explain why.  I think it has to do with the fact that he didn’t sleep last night.  On top of that, he couldn’t get out of bed when he had to go to the bathroom.  He just wants to call them to get rid of the bed and if they won’t take it he will cancel the lift chair.

That is how he is handling the changes.  Get rid of them.

I am trying to help him talk about it.  30 years as a therapist, I am pretty good at it, and I use all my skills.

I have mixed feelings.  I am not sure why this happened so suddenly, although I am sure Tara doesn’t think it is sudden.  I asked Dad to make sure that he knew the bed was coming.  The answer isn’t really clear.  I know she wants what is she thinks is best for him, but she has an agenda.

I am going to have to step in and deal with Tara and why things are happening so fast.  Why is she dealing with an equipment company in Knightdale when there is one a mile from here where he could go in and try these things out before they are delivered?

I want to bury my head and not deal with any of it.  I don’t want to be responsible for these things.  But I am.

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July 11, 2009 - Posted by | Needed Services | , ,

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