Honoring Dad’s Birthday on January 27, 2011
Dad would have been 94 today. But as much as he loved life to the end, he wouldn’t have minded not being here. He was missing Mom and getting more frail.
However, I miss him. I have to be honest, I don’t miss being tied to the house and worrying about him. But I do miss him. The nearly five years I spent caring for him and the 5 years I spent helping him care for Mom are something I will never regret. I was hard, it was expensive, but I got that time with Dad and I have no regrets.
I started this blog because I needed a community during the last year of Dad’s life. I could have used one from the beginning. It was so overwhelming. It crept up on all of us slowly, but the day Dad was so ill and Mom couldn’t be left alone and I realized that I was in it alone, it felt like a tsunami overtook my life. It got better I learned how to manage. I learned to enjoy some things,
I have had a year to rest, to reassess my life and where I want it to go. I know that one thing that will be important to me is to help others who are entering that phase or are in the middle of it or nearly the end is knowledge and support.
I am a baby boomer who spent the last 30 years as a psychotherapist working with people from the womb to the grave. I know family dynamics and systems. I have worked with them professionally and personally. Its time that I start giving back and helping people who are experiencing what I did and more.
I am reopening this blog, with a pledge to write at least weekly, and to open up a mentoring program for people who need personal help along the way. As I progress there will also be a community forum and a resource center. But I am starting slowly. The first issues will be concrete ideas about how you can get your situation organized so that you can care for your parents and still find time to enjoy them and your life.
Its an adventure, one of the hardest you will ever make, but it will be worth it.
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